Once upon a time there was a man, and that man found himself, at a certain point in his life, ripe for reproduction. Not that the man found himself so brilliant that he thought the world would be impossible without another specimen if he came to it. Do you have a problem with him? A little bit, yes. If you just start tuning those guitars. Not that the man found himself so brilliant that he thought the world would be impossible if he just looked around in his circle of friends and heard those bands called Screaming Lazy Dirtbags as very successful, he thought, well, then there is no more moral objection in my way. So, get to work. Because not everything can just be connected to death. And the nice thing was that after making this decision, in contrast to previous decisions, there was a particularly nice little guy in front of him. And not only for him, it was not selfish, his wife was also allowed to share in the joy of the party. So, get to work. But it didn't work. Not the first year, not the second year, not the third year. And so he found himself on a Thursday morning in his red Beetle, over the A10, on his way to the VU, to have his seed tested. They always do that first with the man, because what can go wrong with the man, can go wrong with the man for a week. And as long as he can't miss his wife. He walks down the street quite soberly, and immediately all kinds of nurses rush in. May I have your signature? And if you want to take a picture with the whole bunch afterwards. It was a famous man. From various nurse bags, some CDs are dipped. The man also makes the CDs. And while he's doing it with a pen, luckily his sister comes to save him. God, don't do it on Saturday. She takes him to the room he was assigned to, and tells him that there is a *** video inside, as well as a stack of erotic magazines, and that she thinks the song is beautiful. And... And the man mumbles, modest as he is, that's not mine, that's Paul de Munnick's. I come into the room. I sit down. I look around. I see a huge pile of pallets next to me. Six pallets, each good for 50 cans. While you're filling up a can, you kind of hope you didn't have your day. I look through the room. There is indeed a huge pile of erotic magazines, with on top of the Playboy, the big Akda and de Munnick interview. But the time I spent on that, was already far behind me. I... I unbutton my pants, I want to start, and while I hear the sisters outside, trying to use a large part of Akda and de Munnick's repertoire, to use senseless violence, I see a pile of questionnaires. These questionnaires. I think I'll fill them in first, because I know myself, I'm just like all the other men, we usually don't feel like doing anything after the deed. This in contrast to the woman, who gets a huge energetic boost, from appearing. But that still comes from prehistory. Then it was common for the woman to walk out of bed, to prepare some treats for her husband. If only she could do some household chores, but then I'm talking about very early on. Very early on. I take the questionnaire, and I read. You are about to start your first IUI treatment. I'm immediately stuck. IUI treatment. I have no idea what that means. IUI. And I have to do it later. In the end, I'm betting on insemination from effort. Just like DVS used to be, by Wilskracht Sterk. Or OKB, started on clogs. I think, IUI. Insemination from effort. What IVF meant, I knew, it came from an old teacher of mine, who said that his son was the first IVF child in the world. But then in vino fertilis. If he hadn't been so drunk, he would never have climbed the IVF. I read. You are about to start your first IUI treatment. Below are a number of questions and statements. We kindly ask you to answer them, so that in the future, future candidates, we can be easier to serve. Fine. I take the first question. What does participating mean to you? That's easy. Participating is more important than winning. You think, a cup of coffee. How do you feel about the following statements? Statement 1. My life is ideal in most respects. The answers were already given. A. Totally disagree. B. Totally disagree. C. A little disagree. D. Not agree, not disagree. E. A little agree. B. A little agree. F. Totally agree. And G. Totally disagree. I think, what kind of fully programmed Green-Left standpoint is this? Totally agree. I can already see the rosemary in the room. Dear Speaker, what the distinguished delegate just said with pertinent blindness. We are absolutely totally agree with Green-Left. A little, a little, a little. But if that means I can't run next year, I didn't say anything. A little, a little, a little. I'll read the next statement. Statement 2. My life circumstances are excellent. Well, not really, now. A. Doesn't bother me. And B. I'm sitting with my bare ass on a cold sofa filling in a fire question form. I think, B. Totally disagree. Statement 3. I am satisfied with my life. Everything put together. Yes, everything put together, yes. Ajax played decent football. The whole century put together. I think, why do they ask so many questions and why can't you give those doubtful answers? Kind of, a little. And then suddenly it goes around. Of course, if you give all those doubtful answers, you yourself have doubtful seeds, of course. I see the ice cream, I think the ice cream is beautiful. Of course, I don't have any comparison material, but if I see ice cream, I say, great. A very nice ice cream. But... to swim towards it on my own, I say no. I prefer to stay with the group. I'm not such a seed in the front anyway, so I... Go get them, boys. I still have a few of those questions of quite agreeing with and somewhat disagreeing with. And then I'm happy to have come to the end of that list of questions. I read, you have come to the end of the list of questions. Thank you very much, ma'am, for filling in... Ma'am? That *** is the list of my wife. She's sitting here next to her fingers. I immediately take another list. I read, list for man one. I think, man one? I take another list, list for man two, also for me. Without ever having any ambition in that direction, I suddenly became a list-puller. I blurted it out, I see that the questions are about the same, and the answers were only totally different for the man. For us they were, A, I don't like him very much. B, I don't like him very much. C, I don't like him very much. And D, I don't like him. Sorry, that last one was for me. You get a bit melancholic, with your bare ass on a cold sofa, while you hear the sisters outside singing, I'm sorry, mom, I'm so sorry. John Ledy has been murdered. At... At this point in the inquisition, my erection has now reached a historical low point. But that can also be due to the 70s *** video, which I accidentally started, in which a fat-bellied Greek in tennis socks goes live to a Boshama. Boshama goes live to a Boshama. Because he seems to suspect a woman there, I'm sick of those questions. I take random questions now. How likely are you that this IUI attempt will lead to a weakness? Fill in the percentages between the brackets. Do you also have to guess? How likely are you that this IUI attempt will lead to a weakness? Fill in the percentages between the brackets. I think, well, that has to be calculated. I started jerking when I was 11. A friend of mine told me to do it, it's nice. And indeed, it was very nice. Very nice. But after a few weeks I thought, hello, I also have that thing. So I said, after every weekend of weather and wind, to ride my bike to you. Here must be a partition key. Well, then he turned it off. But anyway. I started jerking when I was 11. So, four times a week. And then I thought, well, I also have that thing. But anyway, I started jerking when I was 11. I started jerking when I was 11. So, four times a week. Because you also have to go to school from time to time, says my mother. So four times a week times 52 is 208. Well, I'm 33 now. So I'm 22 years old. 208 times 22 is 16. One up. Then you have four. Well, let's say a fat 4,000 times. So I fill in, you know what, dude? Then you throw another 4,000 against it. But then I'm really going to look for another hobby. I come to the last question. There is the last question. Below you will find a list with words. These words give you moods and moods again from the past few days. And the answers were of course already given. Because they are terribly afraid that you can't come up with anything yourself. As soon as your pants disappear under your knees. And right away they have. The answers were 1. Not at all. 2. A little bit. 3. Kind of. 4. Still. And 5. Very bad. And the words were. Defeated. Bad mood. Exhausted. Active. Nervous. Helpless. Annoyed. Clear. Panicky. Dejected. Resistant. Desperate. Full of energy. Angry. Restless. Unworthy. Nervous. Unworthy. Annoyed. Dead. Cleared. Anxious. Desperate. Angry. Desperate. Uncertain. Desperate. Desperate. Unhappy. Tired. At the end of my strength. Nervous. Lonely. Unhappy. Mumbling. So I thought. Yes. Kind of. 3. Afterwards I drive home. And my wife is waiting nervously in the doorway. And asks her. And I proudly show her the pot. I should have delivered that. So I'm in my red Beetle again. Over the A10. To the VU. I arrive at the Balian. But there is now a nurse who does not seem to recognize me. But I think. I do not take any risk. I give a nickname. 3 weeks later I'm tense next to the phone. Waiting for the result of my nervousness test. If I realize that they are not going to call me at all. Because I gave a nickname. So I'm in my red Beetle again. I think. Do not take the A10. And then I'm stuck for 45 minutes. Right in the middle of the city. Right next to the Prenatal. In my enthusiasm I *** a baby phone. I arrive at the VU. I *** the baby phone from the back seat. I go to the waiting room. I read the instruction manual. And then I hear my nickname. So I want to walk forward. And suddenly I see him coming forward. And the girl says to him. 95% of your seed is dead. Or swim the other way. And he turns to me. And I say. May I ask if you are there. A. A little disappointed. B.