� � I have sailed the world, beheld its wonders � � From the Dardanelles to the mountains of Peru � � But there's no place like London � � I feel home again � � I could hear the city bells ring, whatever I would do � � No, there's no place like London � Mr. Todd, sir! � You are young, life has been kind to you � � You will learn � So, Anthony, it's here we go our separate ways. Farewell. I shall not soon forget the good ship Bountiful, or the young man who saved my life. � Arms, arms for a miserable woman � � On a miserable chilly morning � Oh, thank you, sir. Thank you. � How would you like a little muff, dear? � � A little jig-jig, a little bounce around the bush � � Wouldn't you like to push me, parsley? � � He looks to me, dear, like you've got plenty there to push � � Arms, arms for a pitiful woman � � What's got wandering wits? � � Hey, don't I know you, mister? � Off with you, woman. Off I said. Leave! Then how would you like to split me muff, mister? We'll go jig-jig and- Off I said, and I'm done with you! � Arms, arms for a pitiful woman � Pardon me, sir. But there's no need to fear the likes of her. She's only a half-crazed beggar woman. London's full of them. Mr. Todd, sir. What is it? If you need any help or money or- No! � There's a hole in the world like a great black pit � � And the vermin of the world inhabit it � � And its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit � � And it goes by the name of London � � At the top of the hole sit a privileged few � � Making mock of the vermin in the lower zoo � � Turning beauty into filth and greed � � I, too, have sailed the world and seen its wonders � � For the cruelty of men is as wondrous as Peru � � But there's no place like London � � � There was a barber and his wife � � And she was beautiful � � A foolish barber and his wife � � She was his reason and his life � � And she was beautiful � � And she was virtuous � � And he was naive � � � There was another man who saw � � That she was beautiful � � A pious vulture of the law � � Who with the gesture of his claw � � Removed the barber from his plate � � Then there was nothing but to wait � � And she would fall � � So soft, so young, so lost � � And oh, so beautiful � � And the lady, sir, did she succumb? � � Oh, that was many years ago � � I doubt if anyone would know � � Now, Antony, leave me, I beg of you � � There's somewhere I must go � � Something I must find out � � Now � � And alone � � But surely we will meet again before I'm off to Plymouth � � Oh, you'll find me if you want to � � Down around Fleet Street, I wouldn't wonder � � Until then, Mr. Todd � � There's a hole in the world like a great black pit � � And it's filled with people who are filled with *** � � And the vermin of the world inhabit it �