It's a bit of a small affair To the girl with the mousy hair But her mother is yelling no And her daddy has told her to go But her friend is nowhere to be seen As she walks through her sunken dream To the seat with the clearest view And she's hooked to the silver screen But the film is a saddening bore For she's lived it ten times or more She could spit in the eyes of fools As they ask her to focus on Sailors fighting in the dance hall Oh, they look at those cavemen go It's the freakiest show Take a look at the lawmen beating up the wrong guy Oh, they wonder if he'll ever know He's in the best-selling show Is there life on board? It's on America's torch and brow Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow Now the workers have struck for fame Cos Lennon's on sale again See the mice and their million hordes From Ibiza to the North for broads Rule Britannia is out of bounds To my mother, my dog, and clowns But the film is a saddening bore Cos I wrote it ten times before It's about to be ripped again As I ask you to focus on Sailors fighting in the dance hall Oh, they look at those cavemen go It's the freakiest show Take a look at the lawmen beating up the wrong guy Oh, they wonder if he'll ever know He's in the best-selling show Is there life on board? Is there life on board? Is there life on board?