♪ Can you top this? Why does a chicken cross the road? That was no chicken, that was my wife. Can you top that, Harry Hirschfeld? Aye. Can you, Senator Ford? I might. And you, Joe Laurie Jr.? Maybe. Those expedient exclamations introduce the pint-sized author-comedian, Joe Laurie Jr., the popular after-dinner speaker and current topic humorist, Senator Ford, and the well-known columnist, cartoonist, and after-dinner speaker, Harry Hirschfeld. These effervescent emas of entertainment bring you another session of Can You Top This? with the best wishes of Kirkman Soap Flakes. ♪ Standby to raise ship. Blast off minus 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, zero! ♪ As rolling rockets blast off to distant planets and far-flung stars, we take you to the age of the conquest of space with Tom Corbin, space cadet! ♪ And now, get ready to smile again with Radio's Home Folks, Vacant Sade, written by Paul Reimer. ♪ Kellogg's Pep, the build-up wheat cereal with the prize in every package, invites you to share another thrilling adventure with Mark Hale! Battling the raging elements, fighting the savage wilderness, striking at the enemies of man and nature, one man's name resounds from snow-capped mountains down across the sun-baked plains. Mark Hale! ♪ Guardian of the forest, protector of wildlife, champion of man and nature. ♪ Mark Hale! ♪ ♪ Jason Sanborn presents Major Edward Bow's Original Amateur Hour. Major? Ha, ha, ha. ♪ Good evening, friends, as spinning goes the weekly wheel of fortune. Around, around she goes, and where she stops, nobody knows. ♪ Good evening, anybody. Here's Morgan. ♪