Good morning, Vietnam! Hey, this is not a test. This is rock and roll. Time to rock it from the Delta to the DMZ. Is that me, or does that sound like an Elvis Presley movie? Viva Da Nang. Oh, viva Da Nang. Da Nang me, Da Nang me, when on the gate I robe and hang me. Hey, is it a little too early for being that loud? Hey, too late. It's 0600. What's the O stand for? Oh my God, it's early. Speaking of early... Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Picture a man going on a journey beyond sight and sound. He's left Crete. He's entered the Demilitarized Zone. What is a Demilitarized Zone? Sounds like something out of The Wizard of Oz. Oh no, don't go in there. Ho, he, ho, Ho Chi Minh. Oh look, you've landed in Saigon. You're among the little people now. We represent the Irvine Army, the Irvine Army. Oh no, follow the Ho Chi Minh Trail. Follow the Ho Chi Minh Trail. I'll get you, my pretty. Oh my God, it's the Wicked Witch of the North. It's Hanoi Hannah. No, little G.I. You and your little tutu, too. Adrian, Adrian. What are you doing, Adrian? Oh Hannah, you slut. You've been on everything but the Titanic. Stop it right now. I'm melting. My pretty... But hey, here's some little advice. Don't eat in a restaurant located next to a pound. So let's check in the field now. Hi, can you help me? What's your name? My name's Roosevelt Lee Roosevelt. Roosevelt, what town are you stationed in? I'm stationed in Phuong Thang. Well, thank you, Roosevelt. What's the weather like out there? It's hot. Damn hot. Real hot. Hot as my shorts. I can cook things in it. A little crotch pot cooking. Well, can you tell me what it feels like? Phu, it's hot, I told you again. Were you born on the sun? It's damn hot. You can be a little... I saw it. It's so damn hot. I saw one of those little guys in the orange robe bursting into flames. It's that hot. You know what I'm talking about. What do you think it's going to be like tonight? It's going to be hot and wet. That's nice if you're with a lady, but it ain't no good if you're in the jungle. Thank you, Roosevelt. Here's a song coming your way right now. Nowhere to Run To by Martha and the Vandellas. Yes!