I'm feeling terrible.
I'm feeling bad.
My boyfriend, he hurt me.
And he hurt me bad.
He threw a brick at my head.
Lucky for me, he missed.
And then he tied me to a tree
and tickled my wrists.
Don't do this to me, baby.
Don't do this
to me, baby.
You're driving me crazy.
You're turning me blue.
One day, my baby tied me
up
in my favorite chair.
I couldn't move my arms or legs.
And he just went into the kitchen
and left me there.
He came back about five hours later and spoonfed me some strawberry
jello.
And then he cut off my pants and painted my knees yellow.
Don't do this to me, baby.
Don't do this to me, baby.
You're driving me crazy.
You're turning me blue.
Now back in the 1920s,
when Warren G. Harding was running for the presidency of the United
States,
he said,
and I quote,
handshaking is the most pleasant thing that I can do.
Well,
I feel the same way about my love.
It's sad,
but true.
Don't do this to me, baby.
Don't do this to me, baby.
You're driving me crazy.
You're turning me blue.