I've been tryin' so hard to survive
Sometimes I think that I wanna die
I feel so f*cking guilty 'cause God, I'm so lucky to live my life
So I keep all the pain to myself
Losin' faith, but nobody can tell
Mom, I don't want you worried 'cause that would just hurt me
So I pretend I'm fine

If you only knew
What my mind is tellin' me I should do
That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight
I'm too sad to cry, it's true, oh
If you only knew
All the sh*t my brain is puttin' me through
You'd come runnin' over straight to my room here tonight
I'm sorry, but I need you, oh
If you only knew

I wish I was somebody else
I'm constantly overwhelmed
Now I'm falling again, gettin' drunk with some friends
It's a silent cry for help

I wanna get better, I want you to know
That I can't do this on my own

If you only knew
What my mind is tellin' me I should do
That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight
I'm too sad to cry, it's true, oh
If you only knew
All the sh*t my brain is puttin' me through
You'd come runnin' over straight to my room here tonight
I'm sorry, but I need you, oh

Take me outta this hell
Oh, somebody help
Take me outta this hell
Oh, I'm not myself

I wanna tell you what my mind is tellin' me I should do
That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight
I'm too sad to cry, but I want to
Oh, if you only knew