Oh Lord, if you can't help me, for goodness sake, don't help that big fuzzy one.
Ha ha ha, that preacher went out a-walkin', was on Sunday mornin'.
Was against his religion, but he took his gun along.
Shot himself, some mighty fine quail, and one little measly hound.
But on his way returnin' home, he met a great big grizzly bear.
Well, the bear got down in the middle of the road, on all four like a great big toad.
He looked at preacher out square in the eye, the preacher looked at him and he said, bye-bye.
Started down the road, took off to run, the bear right after that preacher did come.
He run and he run for about a mile, and the boat set down and it rested a while.
Preacher got up, started again, the bear started out with more of them.
Then he ran and he ran till he spotted a tree, he said, up on the limb is the place for me.
The bear got close, made a grab at him, preacher leaped up and he made the limb.
Pulled himself up and he turned about, cast his eyes in the sky, and he did shout.
Oh Lord, you delivered daddy from the lie, then also delivered Jonah from the belly of the whale.
And now he brewed children from the fiery flame, so the good folks do declare.
Oh Lord, if you can't help me for goodness sake, don't help that bear.
Well, just about then, the limb let go, preacher came tumbling down.
Reached in his pocket, pulled his razor out, just before he hit the ground.
Hit the ground with an awful bang, it was a terrible sight.
The preacher and the bear with a razor in his hand, just a-cutting left and right.
They rode around on the ground, the preacher was up, then he was down.
The bear let out an awful moan, looked like the preacher was a-holding his own.
Man, if I get out of here alive, bought a good book I will abide.
I'll never sin on Sabbath day, Sunday come I'll pray and pray.
To the heavens he did glance, said Lord just give me one more chance.
Then his suspenders gave away, he knocked that bear ten feet away.
Preacher got up, made a bond to the tree where he'd be safe and sound.
Pulled himself up, turned about, cast his eyes to the sky and he did shout.
Oh Lord, you deliver a dying bum alive.
Then also deliver Jonah from the belly of the whale.
And then, yeah, he blew Jonah from the fiery furnace.
So the good folks do declare.
Oh Lord, if you can't help me for goodness sake, don't help that bear.