It's clear that I'm addicted
Before I've even started
Another thing to control myself
Overconsuming
But I'm not good with eating
Sometimes it makes me nauseous
Avoiding putting the weight on my face again
And some people think that's stupid
Cause I've been called beautiful
But it doesn't matter what you say If you're trying to cheer me up
Maybe I'm realistic Cause we're always getting older
24 and I've still never been in love
And I've gone so much
And so I hold on to this And focus on something
That gets me out of bed in the morning
When I wake up I'm sad
And I'm not saying I need a lover
But if I did I know that I'm obsessive
With self-detrimental False habits
Catastrophizing everything But don't say that I'm dramatic
No,
I'm just afraid of dying Before I get the chance to be
What I've wanted to be Since 15 years old
And I,
I borrowed Jacob's guitar And he let me keep it until I
learned All the pronto kicks But a lot has changed since then
I've sang at his funeral Cause he died at 21 But I
keep him here in my songs and Hold on to this And focus
on something That gets me out of bed in the morning
Cause when I wake up I'm sad
And I'm not saying I need a lover
But if I did I'd fall into them A slow time with kissing
A slightly less lonely life that I'm
living But when I wake up I'm sad
And I'm not saying I need a lover
But if I did
I'd fall into them A slowly time with kissing
A slightly less lonely life that I'm living But
when I wake up I'm sad
And I'm not even sure a lover Could fix that