And in three, two, one. We're sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman. Hello. So, Natalie, what's a day in the life of Natalie Portman like? Do you really want to know? Please, tell us. I don't sleep, mother***er, off that yak and that Durban Doing 120, getting head while I'm swerving Damn, Natalie, you a crazy chick You shut the *** up and *** I'm busting dudes' mouths like Gusher's mother***er Roll up on NBC and smack the *** out Jeff Zucker What you want, Natalie? To drink and fight What you need, Natalie? To *** all night Don't text me when I'm crazy off that airplane crew Put my foot down your throat till your ***'s in my shoe Leave you screaming, pay for my dry cleaning *** you, man, it's my name that he's screaming I'm sorry, Natalie, are we to believe you condone driving while intoxicating? I never said I was a role model. But what about the kids that look up to you? Do you have a message for them? All the kids looking up to me can *** It's Portman, mother***er, drink till I'm sick Lay your throat and pump nudges down the hole Watch you laugh and cry while I laugh you die And all the dudes, you know I'm talking to you We love you, Natalie I wanna *** you, too It's for Portman It's for pussy I'll kill your ***ing dog for fun, so don't push me Wow, Natalie, I'm surprised all this from a Harvard graduate Well, there's a lot you may not know about me Really? Such as? When I was in Harvard, I smoked weed every day I cheated every test and snorted all the yay I got a deaf posse, you got a bunch of dudes I'll sit right there on your face and take a *** Natalie, you are a badass bitch And I always pay for your dry cleaning When my *** gets in your shoe And as for the drug use Well, I can vouch for that My dick is scared of you Natalie, one final question If you could steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood Who would it be? No more questions Natalie Portman What?