Miscellaneous Jones is quite famous for the property she owns But the property she owns is the property of Jones And the innocent bystanders, how they rush with gifts to hand her Just to get a little gander at her bones Miscellaneous Jones, the recipient of many sticks and stones The fair ladies of the town, how they try to put her down But she just walks by with grinning, cause she's on that side that's winning It's by popular opinion I suppose She's a high-steppin' lady, it's clear to anyone who knows her name It's never yes, just a maybe, it's for sure you're gonna love her If you judge her by her color, oh, but stay away from Miss J She just isn't worth the price you've gotta pay She is heartless, she is cruel, and she'll make a fool of you If there's tenderness beneath her, it's too far out of reach You'll discover like the others, no one owns Miscellaneous Jones