Today I am a horse. Dear God! Did you have to make my poor old horse lose his shoe just before the Sabbath? That wasn't very nice. It's enough. You pick on me, Tevye. Bless me with five daughters. A life of poverty. But what have you got against my horse? Sometimes, when it's quiet up there, I think you say to yourself, let's see what kind of mischief can I play on my friend Tevye. Dear God, you made many, many, many rich people. I realize, of course, it's no shame to be poor. But it's no great honor either. So what would have been so terrible if I had a small fortune, if I were a rich man? If I were a wealthy man, wouldn't have to work hard. If I were a bitty, bitty, rich, big-a-diggity-diddled idle man, I'd build a big tall house with rooms by the dozen right in the middle of the town. A fine tin roof with real wooden floors below. There would be one long staircase just going up and one even longer coming down. And one more leading nowhere just for show. I'd fill my yard with chicks and turkeys and geese and ducks for the town to see and hear. Squawking just as noisily as they can. And each loud quack will land like a trumpet on the air, as if to say, here lives a wealthy man. If I were a rich man, all day, long night, bitty, bitty bum. If I were a wealthy man, wouldn't have to work hard. If I were a bitty, bitty, rich, idle-diddle-idle-idle man, I'd see my wife, my gold, looking like a rich man's wife with a proper double chin, supervising meals to her heart's delight. I see her putting on airs and strutting like a peacock. Oy, what a happy mood she's in. Screaming at the servants day and night. The most important men in town will come to phone on me. They will ask me to advise them like a Solomon the Wise. If you please, Reptarium, pardon me, Reptarium. Causing problems that would cross a rabbi's eyes. Bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye. And it won't make one bit of difference if I answer right or wrong. When you're rich, they think you really know. If I were rich, I'd have the time that I lack to sit in a synagogue and pray, and maybe have a seat by the Eastern Wall. And I'd discuss the holy books with the learned men, seven hours every day. This would be the sweetest thing of all. If I were a rich man, all the day, long night, pretty, pretty fun. If I were a wealthy man, wouldn't have to work hard. Lord, who made the lion and the lamb, you decreed I should be what I am. Would it stiles some vast eternal plan if I were a wealthy man?