Ask me how do I feel, ask me now that we're cosy and clingin'
Well sir, all I can say, is if I were a bell I'd be ringin'
From the moment we kissed tonight, that's the way I've just gotta behave
Boy, if I were a lamp I'd light or if I were a banner I'd wave

Ask me how do I feel, little me with my quiet upbringing
Well sir, all I can say is if gate I'd be swinging
And if I were a watch I'd start popping my springs
Or if I were a bell I'd go ding dong, ding dong ding

Yes, I knew my morale would crack
From the wonderful way that you looked
Boy, if I were a duck I'd quack
Or if I were a goose I'd be cooked

Ask me how do I feel, ask me now that we're fondly caressing
Well, if I were a salad, I know I'd be splashing my dressing
Or if I were a season, I'd surely be spring
Or if I were a gate, I would swing, have a fling almost any old thing
Or if I were a bell I'd go ding dong, ding dong
Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding ding dong