World War III hovers over us like a black cloud,
and China isn't far behind.
But I'm going to talk about the odds rockers
and the sawdust Caesars who are blind.
There's a town called Brighton.
It's by a deep blue sea.
Leather jackets and Bill Haley records.
Oh, yes, that's all that the eye can see.
Unless, of course, you're Rudolph Valentino.
He's been a rocker forever.
Now there was a maud named Tony.
Let me talk about Tony now.
Who had a bird named Jill.
He used to ride her on his scooter.
Yes, he did.
And this used to give her a very deadly thrill.
And here comes the song.
Now a group of wild rockers
were on their way to Brighton town.
And they saw our friends Jill and Tony.
Yes, they did.
You know what right happened there?
Why they mowed Jill and Tony down.
And that night they had a council of war.
We're going to seek revenge on them.
They were too young to get such a horrible fate.
They hadn't even seen the latest pop music magazines.
No, they didn't.
And they had never, ever been to the Orange Free State.
And so a big crowd gathered and they started
walking down those Brighton streets.
Yeah.
They had chewing gum in either hand.
We're going to drive the rockers into the sea.
Oh, yes, we will.
We're going to take them away from the land.
Well, during this whole time,
a spaceship is watching the whole scene.
And a Martian said to everyone,
I think you should stop your fighting now.
Remember that this rainbow is red, white, and blue
and green and yellow.
And don't forget about the purple cow.
Ladies and gentlemen, if you think
this is a phonograph record, you are perfectly right.
The song is about over.
The next track is a very good song.
I thank you so much for listening
to the only 81-year-old hipster in this country.
Thanks so much.
Remember, the house of the rising.
Happy Easter.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Whatever happened to balance?
Whatever happened to whatever happened to
I can't do anymore.
I'll start being dirty, man.
I'll start being dirty, man.