Does
it all get better if I lie to myself?
I've been trying all of them methods
I try to communicate what I usually think
And it comes off aggressive
See now where's the part where I finally chill
And I stop feeling like I'm being tested
And I stop feeling like I gotta walk on eggshells
And only say thoughts with edits
Every situation causing discomfort All
of my art I've been losing my love for
All of the things that I used to be
hype about Now it's like * that,
I don't like it now
A bit nervous,
discouraged,
imperfect But how am I supposed to be?
I've been hurting,
just learning Why is everybody always saying something wrong with me?
If you only knew me,
you knew all the things that come out
of my mouth are a product of trauma
I don't think anything could make me feel better I could fix it,
but I just don't want it
I go to therapy,
they wanna sit me down and ask questions all about my family
Then all my sleeping habits and my eating habits
take my * brain and keep beating at it
Got the sinister energy,
flu by some envious deep inside of me and betting
How you expect me just now to be jealous?
I wanted the love I see everyone getting
Mainly the reason I feel so alone is all
cause I don't even like my reflection
Maybe the reason I don't feel at home is
cause I feel a lot and I don't express it
You could tell me everything and hold it all against me
When you see me slowly losing my mind, mind
Sleep depriving,
keeping my composure,
feeling empty I was screaming out,
but * I'm crying
Maybe you could find me,
somewhere crushed beneath all my insanity
* all of these demons, I'm a
body Eat your * heart out,
what they taught me
Till I feel like me again
No self-sabotage,
martyrdom just for applause Rip my heart out with these claws
Pray to God he changed my flaws Tell
me there's a lot of me that's good
Those are traits that I never saw Mama,
I was supposed to be a soldier
Why my pain make me so soft?
Why my pain don't get better?
There's a side I ain't shown
When I get intimate,
I feel like a break bone Should've met you,
I should've stayed home
I've already ruined my world,
where else do you think I'd take yours?
I looked in your eyes and saw the
sun Too bad only love and rain pours,
I'm sorry
You could tell me everything and hold it all
against me When you see me slowly losing my mind,
mind Sleep depriving,
keeping my composure,
feeling empty I was screaming out,
but * I'm crying
Maybe you could find me,
somewhere crushed beneath all my insanity * all of these demons,
I'm a body Eat your * heart out,
what they taught me Till I feel like me again
You could tell me everything and hold it all
against me When you see me slowly losing my mind,
mind Sleep depriving,
keeping my composure,
feeling empty I was screaming out,
but * I'm crying