Bài hát: Ex Boyfriend - Lil Dicky

Ey what's goin' on man?
It's your boy Lil Dicky
A.k.a Mr. Leftward-Sloping Penis
I got a story for y'all man
Peep this
Yessir

Verse 1

Now I been datin this girl named Katie, she hot as hell
And her body crazy, vagina shaven and it dont smell

And I don't fall for chickens
But this one a little different
Body sickening,
plus she really good at making breaded chicken

got me thinkin she the one man
even fully clothed, shawty really fun man
get a lotta hos, but none of those come close
I swear this the most that I've felt so damn exposedddd

oh yeah there's one more thing
and I know this *** gonna sound insane
but I still haven't hit it
I admit it, I wish I was kidding

Never been up inside before
Because shes only *** one guy before
and though I really wanna boink this ***
she ma sweetie 3.14

so I'm stayin patient, and masterbating,
and now ma heart is sorta racing
cuz she said tonight will be the night we do some fornicating

hell yeah, I'm down, i'm bout to go all out
I'm gonna pound that crazy, like an elaborate black man handshake

But on the way to crib, we pass this kid,
and he seem to know who Katie is
So I say "who this" and she say
dicky, this is my ex boyfriend Jim"

Chorus 1

and I ain't usually the one to be the jealous type
but as I'm lookin at this dude I can't believe my eyes
cuz he's the best looking guy that I've seen in my whole life

He's got the thickest head of hair, chiseled jaw, an egregious bod
Man this the closest thing I've seen to a Grecian god
And now I'm lookin at ma chick, cuz his dick's been inside her rawww

Awww damn

Verse 2

Man this is crazy
I can't believe this guy used to *** ma lady
I bet he left that pussy ravaged like Haiti

Katie's huggin and squeezing his shoulder blades
And I'm buggin and queasy, this aint okay

And then they say, "let's get drinks" so I say okay
Even though I was about to get laid!

Man this ma***a look like Ashton
Combined wit a lil Hugh Jackman
In other words, he's so damn attractive
So damn tan he gotta have a little black in him

now I'm in the back wit him, sippin on some yak wit him
And he payin for it all, he investment bankin...
I'm acting, like i ain't distracted
but I'm reenacting him and Katie bangin

and now I'm feelin pissed, so I go and take a piss
mid stream, I look left and guess who it is

and I had to see, and I was mad discrete
and I got on my toes and I took a little peek

oh my god becky, look at that cock

Chorus 2

And I ain't usually the one to be the jealous type
But as I'm lookin at his dick, I cant believe me eyes
Because he's got the biggest cock that I've seen in my whole life
And now I'm starin at this dude's soft dick with a lotta hate
Because the *** is plus 8 like Jon and Kate
And I don't know if I can date ma girl after tonighttttt

Aw damn

Verse 3

I don't know what to do
dude's dick is really huge
I didn't realize a penis could be so smooth

I know she's missin that
My penis isn't that
I'm lookin closer I think that his dick has abs

Six pack on a dick
Now what the *** is that
It's so long and thick
It's like a punching bag

I'm sayin it's so shaven, head is amazing
Got ma dick looking like a raisin
Skin tone insane, man he's hung like saddam hussain, its craazzy

What the *** should I do?
He gotta Ruth's Chris dick, and mine's a drive thru....

I think it's time to
Tell Katie ma goodbyes
Cuz I simply can't survive
After seeing what was in between his thighs

So I tell her

Chorus 3

that this dude's gotta dick that I don't comprehend
I had to move ma neck to see it end to end
I mean the physics of his dick just don't make any sense

And I think it's for the best if this comes to an end
Because the *** with him must have been the best
And I would say let's just be friends,
but I think I would just think about his dick all the time, so goodbye

then she told me dicky I don't really know what to say
because I dated this dude in second grade
so I don't know about his dick, now let's go home and get you laiddd

and then I took her to ma crib, and you know that we belly slapped
and I gave her an O like I was selling crack, and when I came,
I pulled out and nutted all over her left thighhh. Aww damn